I FAILED MATH IN HIGH SCHOOL:

I was an English major in college. Does that scare you? Bookkeeping is really just organizing–like diagraming a sentence. You just put everything in the right place and QuickBooks does the math. Actually, I think they should offer bookkeeping as an elective in the English Department.

So next time some hotshot accountant starts bragging about his accounting degree, just ask him to diagram a sentence.